Posing Practice

Yesterday, I booked a posing session with a WBFF figure pro.  It was a rough day and I was too hungry and tired to really be nervous.  I met her in the upstairs of a gym in Oshkosh, and my first impression was that besides being tall and super muscly, she was a business-like take-charge kind of girl.  

I'll do whatever you say, just don't hurt me!

Side note: It is incredibly difficult to take yourself seriously when you're strutting around in a mirrored room with five inch stilettos... I giggled uncontrollably almost the whole time.  This maturity thing is really working out well for me.

We walked downstairs into a (thankfully for my self-consiousness) empty room.  She had me put on my shoes and walk back and forth, and back and forth.  And back.  And forth.  Walky walk walk.

Basically, when you're walking for bikini, or other divisions I'm assuming, you sort of want to pretend you're pushing a shopping cart.  Ass out, chest out.  That shit is not natural.  In fact, one way to know you're doing it right is if you're lower back hurts.  Perfect.

I was very happy when she told me I have a great walk (thank you Woodman's!) and we didn't have to spend too much time on it.  We did practice having a little more bounce in the step so I don't look like a hooker zombie... apparently it's not what the judges are going for these days.

Onto posing.  I've practiced a little, but just one front pose and one back.  She approved both poses, gave me one more front pose, and then we got to the horrible stuff I didn't think about.  Transitions.  I don't really want to talk about it, but it involves a lot of pivoting, coordination, and I almost fell.  So there.  It sucked.  

She also gave me a rundown of what actually happens during the show.  During pre-judging (which is the first of two "shows" in the day where your placing is determined), me and a million other girls will line up on the side of the stage, and one by one we will be called by our number (like intelligent cattle) and we will walk to the center back of the stage, pivot, strike a front pose, hold it for a few seconds and try to not fall down.  Then you walk directly toward the judges, hit a front pose at the top of the stage, pivot to the back, back pose, pivot to the front, front pose, wave, walk off, and run to the warm embrace of the bottle of Hendrick's gin I'll have waiting in my gym bag.

She took a video of me, and while I am not going to post that because... it's bad.... I will post some stills.

I was super, super surprised at how bad all my poses looked.  I can get them really good in front of a mirror, but when I'm walking and stopping and trying to hit them quick, they are terrible man.  

Ooooook.  Stomach needs to be in... like a lot more.  haha.  Weight should be more in my left leg with that hip popped out.  Right foot should be pointed more out.  Hips should be pointed more to the left.  Wipe the goofy look off my face.  

My calves are repping for all the runners out there... what what.

In other exciting news... abs.  I have had morning abs for awhile, but last night for the first time... I had the elusive unicorn known as "night abs".  I was... shocked.

This posing stuff is not something I had even really thought about before, but the more I read, the more I realize it is absolutely essential.  A girl (or guy) could have the best bod up there and come in last if they are not presenting it well.  And I am really, really pushing for second last.