9 and 8 Days Out

Oh hey there.  Missed a day, so you get a twofer.

So yesterday, nine days out, I didn't eat enough.  I missed my calorie goal by a lot, and had about three meals, two chicken and veggies, one salmon and veggies.  I just didn't have an appetite, I had a pretty shitty lift... I don' t know.  Just not my day.

I woke up in the middle of the night plagued with an itchy nose and throat from fall allergies, and I was hungry and it was keeping me awake.  I think this is the first time ever hunger has kept me awake, but the thought of eating in the middle of the night just didn't appeal to me.

When I woke up this morning, I noticed my abs were, super, super defined.   But when I looked in the mirror, I looked like hell.  Gaunt... my skin looked like it was hanging off me.  It was terrible.  Where my skin was tight on my abs, this morning it was loose and horrible, and as a mother of twins, I know loose skin man.

Yesterday, before my skin went all wrinkly old man face on me.  

  If I woke up looking like I did today on the day of the show, I don't think I would get up on stage. When I stepped on the scale, my weight was down a few more pounds, and right at the lowest number I am comfortable with, and I still have a week of dieting and drying out to do... not cool.

So, today, I had an eating free for all, and I loved it.

I should have taken pictures of my food because it was so, so good.  I started the day with Cinnamon Raisin Ezekial toast with butter.  Butter.  On bread. Good lord.

Then I sliced some sweet potatoes into thin slices, baked them, and schmeared almond butter all over then.  Unbelievable.  I had never had this before but it's what my body wanted and holy shit.  It's one of the tastiest combinations I've ever had.

Then I had some bars... some normal chicken and veggies... what else.  Peanut butter on an apple.... I don't know.  Lots of things.  I've probably had over 2,500 calories today, though I'm not counting.  It was fun to spoon nut butter (that sounds so gross every time I hear it) without busting out the measuring devices.  Look out, getting crazy over here.

Honestly, as ridiculous as this sounds, I can't wait to see how the bod responds tomorrow.  I could be super bloated, or I could look back to the way I was... I have no idea.  This really throws a wrench in my peak week plans, I just do not want to get any leaner, but I also don't want to put on more weight and look too soft.  Today is kind of an experiment to see how I should eat next Friday night... how I wake up tomorrow could be how I wake up for the show.  Super weird to be this into minute changes in my body, but I've found that being this lean your body changes hour to hour depending on what you eat.  And we are down to the wire and I want to be happy with what I bring to the stage.

What else... working on my posing a ton.  It's hard.

Oooh look at me I have sparkles on my bikini...

 K, that's all for now.  Nighty night.  :)