Six Weeks Out

Hey-o.  Six weeks til this shit.

My damn scale broke so I'm flying blind.  It's so weird to not be able to weigh myself... I do every morning regardless of cutting, bulking, binge-drinking... you know, whatever fitness phase I'm in.

Highlights of this week:

• Found a suit:  

But where's the butt part? 

My girl SJ is hooking me up with a suit she purchased but didn't wear.  All I need to do is purchase connectors for the top, and make it all rhinestony so I can blind the judges before they see my ass cheeks flapping around on stage.    Bwahahaha....

Look at that fat a-.... ooh look!  Shiny!

I'm just gonna be straight up here.  That suit.  It's tiny.  And apparently I have to take the strings off and replace them with rhinestone connector pieces... for on the hips, between the sweater puppets.. I have no idea.  And then I have to bejewel the shit out of it, and man, I am just not super creative.  Or crafty.  Or fully coming to terms with me wearing that on a stage.

• Ordered stripper shoes:  Don't wanna discuss it.  They're five inches tall. They are clear plastic.  Say it with me.  I am an athlete.  I am not a stripper.  

I can only hope this guy is backstage.

• Started practicing the posing:  This shit is difficult!  I am not joking!  Try to stand with your hips facing one way and your shoulders facing forward.  It's like the worst yoga twist ever.  In five inch heels.  It does make your waist look small and your ass look bangin' though.  And your shoulders look extra manlike apparently.  

Ohmygodohmygodohmygod.. hold it... my back is gonna snap

I have a ton more practicing to do.  Like walking, and turning, and back posing... oh my.

• Booked hairstylist/make-up person:  My cousin Shannon hooked me up with a girl that does some of the local competitors hair and make-up, and she took me on!  Best part, it's about half what I thought I'd pay.  Winner winner chicken dinner.

So this will be the format of my weekly check-in.. with 

an arbitrary letter grading system.  I'm a sucker for judgement, clearly.  

Bod Progress:  B  

Things are looking up a bit.  Been cutting for a week and am noticing some new ab lines and a little in my shoulders.  I'm feeling pretty strong in the gym and like I'm not losing any muscle.. yet.  My big concern is leaning out, especially in my stomach and lower bod, but really all over.  Not freaking out, I know I have time, and I'm appreciating the muscles while they still look big.  

I am all that is man...

Mental Check-In:  B+

Aside from my little meltdown earlier this week, I'm feeling fine.  I'm pretty lighthearted about this whole thing, and am finding a lot of humor in what I'm learning.  The diet isn't killing me yet, but today being up for a million hours coupled with PMS has left me a raging snack monster.  

Training: A-

Good things, good things.  In the gym, doing the same thing I always do.  I need to start adding a little more cardio probably, butttt.. I'm a runner, and runners don't do "cardio".  We shall see.  

Diet: A

It's going so well man.  Hitting calories and macros perfectly.  Not feeling deprived.  No real treats to speak of.   Could super go for a beer though.  

NUTRIENTS:	GOAL	SUN 8/17	MON 8/18	TUE 8/19	WED 8/20	THU 8/21	FRI 8/22	TODAY
Calories	1,200 - 1,600	-	-	1,242	1,179	1,311	1,274	1,200
Fat	40 - 70g	-	-	39	45	33	40	41
Carbohydrates	50 - 70g	-	-	97	91	105	121	65
Protein	110 - 130g	-	-	128	107	142	129	140

That's all she wrote, folks.

Day 3.. Almost Six Weeks Out

Good evening lovelies.

This day started off with the scale cooperating just a bit more.

I really don't care what my weight is, but it's a decent way for me to track progress over the next few weeks.. especially since I am horrible at using the mirror as a guide.

Which leads me to:

Bikini Contest Prep Freakout #1

It happened.  I had a little meltdown.  I took some pics of the ol' bod... like actual ones with a real camera and a timer.. not perfectly flexed great lighting bathroom mirror #swellfies... and I almost cried.

I just want to put a huge disclaimer out there in case anyone reads this that does not know me, but I have pretty good bod confidence.  I have stretch marks and small boobs and a pretty sizeable ass, and I'm down with it.  I just had a vacation where I wore a two-piece for the first time and paraded around that momma tummy to all my friends and seriously, nobody batted an eyelash and I felt totally comfortable.

Soooo... I don't want anything thinking I'm bagging on the bod.  I'm not.  I'm just freaked out because I don't believe in six weeks my bod can look like other girls up on stage.

I called in the reinforcements... A, my buddy and fellow competitor who will be competing in physique at the same show as me.  And SJ, the only girl bro I can talk about bench maxes and macros and supps with.  And tiny vag-hugging bikinis.  Anyway.  I sent them the pics, and... meh.  I got pretty hesitant "You can do it bro"s mixed with some nice pep talks and specific critiques.

Face blotted out because resting bitch face was on in full force.

I don't know.  I'm holding of from registering for two weeks to see if I can get down to a degree of leanness I feel comfy with.  It's really, really hard to judge your own physique.  And harder to decipher what your buds are really trying to tell you.

I'll admit, it was a low point... but, I also got teary during my kids' 4-k orientation, and I'm PMSing, and I haven't been sleeping well.. so I'm going to chalk it up to a bad day and not make any rash decisions.

High point of the day:  I was low on my calories nearing bedtime, so I went with a craving and ate a piece of toast with melted provolone on it.  And god damn if it wasn't the tastiest thing I could have put in my face hole.

Cheese cheese cheesy cheese

I also had glorious morning abs this morning haha.  Not much, but it's a start.

six am bed face...

Super fast:  

Training:  

• One mile attempted run with kids.  They were loving it but there was a giant tractor on the track and I didn't want my children to get smooshed for the sake of cardio.
• Shoulder wkt focus on heavy presses. 
•  4 x 400 intervals on treadmill with 400 m recovery of fast walk at 13% incline.  (don't judge me runner buds).

Foodstuff:  Was spot the fuck on today.  Super satisfied all day.  Little low on fats but I snagged a glorious looking avocado today that's going in my belly tomorrow.

Night night time.

Day 2

I'm not really going to post updates every day... but lucky for you you get a back-to-back... ;)

Most notable thing about day two... feeling pretty good when I woke up, felt pretty lean and strong and energized, hopped on the scale.  Yesterday... 119 lbs.  Today....

What in the fuck.  

 Oddly enough, it actually made me feel better... I have been super scared the past few weeks as I've been thinking about competing that I don't have enough muscle, and for whatever reason, starting this cut at a higher weight gives me more confidence.    


On the note of confidence, mine is rapidly slipping that I'm not going to look like Jabba-the-Hut compared to these other girls... six weeks man.  I've been obsessively looking for photos of other girls six weeks out, and I feel super behind the curve here.  This week I'll suck it up and post some of my own six week out pictures and hopefully we'll all be shocked at my spectacular transformation come show day.  Ha.

I ate all the same schtuff as yesterday, minus the snacks, so I had enough calories left at the end of the day for this little morsel of heaven.

Hom nom nom nom

It says "Protein Bar".  It's not, it's a chocolate covered granola bar with clever marketing....

Got in some good workouts.. A great leg day, kick sets in the pool, and a fun HIIT bootcamp workout with two good friends.

In other exciting news (please, stop calling me to tell me how exciting this blog is), I think I'm squared away on a competition suit.  I'll post all the details soon...

Have a lovely day!

Day 1 - Contest Prep

Today is the first day of getting back to good eating after an almost two week long bingefest of beer, gin, doughnuts and pizza that was our annual cottage vacation.

Beeerrss

Before cottage, I was pretty lean.  At 115 lbs:

Yeah, this is the high quality photography and modeling you will come to expect from this blog.

After... 120.  I don't have a picture of it because, seriously, who takes swimsuit pictures post vacation weight gain.

Complicating clean eating a bit this morning was this:

Get in mah bellllyyy

Must.  Not.  Eat.   I seriously can smell the sugary goodness of it wafting over as I type this.

This morning was my usual eggs and chicken sausage and snap pea medley of goodness.  Lunch was shrimp over veggies with a little rice.  Dinner will probably be tilapia or salmon and veggies.   Pretty riveting stuff here folks.

I could have eaten four times this much.

Trained Shoulders/Arms/Abs today:

5 sets to failure overhead barbell press - 65 lbs supersetted with
5 sets neutral grip pull-ups to failure
2 x 10 bent over rear delt flyes
6 sets of rear delts on different settings on incline bench
4 x 12 leaning lateral raises
4 x 10 incline seated DB curls supersetted with
4 x 10 overhead triceps extensions
Tricep pushups
4 x 15 abs stuff..

After gym I sprinted on a track, which was fun minus the ouchy leggers from a tough Sunday of legs and sprinting.

That's all for today folks.

Yayyy show!

Last night, a few beers into my 30th birthday celebration, I made a decision I've been thinking about off an on for months: entering a fitness competition.  Specifically, a bikini competition through NPC.

The sexy bikini, fake tan, stripper heels and weird butt poses aren't my thing.  At all.  

Buttttt... (what's up, hope you guys are up for some sweet puns) I've been training really hard in the gym for almost a year and off and on for years before that.  I've always been a distance runner but my passion for weightlifting has rivaled that of my running in the past few months.  I desire a competition.  

So it's either a powerlifting competition or a bodybuilding show.  That's the way of the weightlifting world.  My lifts are way too low to be anything but embarrassed at a competition... so looks like I'm going to need some hairspray and a teeny tiny bikini.  

The show is October 4th.. that's 6 1/2 weeks away, which is far less prep time than I think is recommended.  I'll be documenting my food and my workouts, along with a few progress pics and #swellfies.  

I sort of have a history of doing crazy things with too little prep... like the time my best friend and I ran for 16 hours around a high school track on very little training.  This show may be fun or it may be a horrific public shaming where people will jeer and throw rotten vegetables at my orange coated body.. but either way, should make for a good story.