Day 3.. Almost Six Weeks Out

Good evening lovelies.

This day started off with the scale cooperating just a bit more.

I really don't care what my weight is, but it's a decent way for me to track progress over the next few weeks.. especially since I am horrible at using the mirror as a guide.

Which leads me to:

Bikini Contest Prep Freakout #1

It happened.  I had a little meltdown.  I took some pics of the ol' bod... like actual ones with a real camera and a timer.. not perfectly flexed great lighting bathroom mirror #swellfies... and I almost cried.

I just want to put a huge disclaimer out there in case anyone reads this that does not know me, but I have pretty good bod confidence.  I have stretch marks and small boobs and a pretty sizeable ass, and I'm down with it.  I just had a vacation where I wore a two-piece for the first time and paraded around that momma tummy to all my friends and seriously, nobody batted an eyelash and I felt totally comfortable.

Soooo... I don't want anything thinking I'm bagging on the bod.  I'm not.  I'm just freaked out because I don't believe in six weeks my bod can look like other girls up on stage.

I called in the reinforcements... A, my buddy and fellow competitor who will be competing in physique at the same show as me.  And SJ, the only girl bro I can talk about bench maxes and macros and supps with.  And tiny vag-hugging bikinis.  Anyway.  I sent them the pics, and... meh.  I got pretty hesitant "You can do it bro"s mixed with some nice pep talks and specific critiques.

Face blotted out because resting bitch face was on in full force.

I don't know.  I'm holding of from registering for two weeks to see if I can get down to a degree of leanness I feel comfy with.  It's really, really hard to judge your own physique.  And harder to decipher what your buds are really trying to tell you.

I'll admit, it was a low point... but, I also got teary during my kids' 4-k orientation, and I'm PMSing, and I haven't been sleeping well.. so I'm going to chalk it up to a bad day and not make any rash decisions.

High point of the day:  I was low on my calories nearing bedtime, so I went with a craving and ate a piece of toast with melted provolone on it.  And god damn if it wasn't the tastiest thing I could have put in my face hole.

Cheese cheese cheesy cheese

I also had glorious morning abs this morning haha.  Not much, but it's a start.

six am bed face...

Super fast:  

Training:  

• One mile attempted run with kids.  They were loving it but there was a giant tractor on the track and I didn't want my children to get smooshed for the sake of cardio.
• Shoulder wkt focus on heavy presses. 
•  4 x 400 intervals on treadmill with 400 m recovery of fast walk at 13% incline.  (don't judge me runner buds).

Foodstuff:  Was spot the fuck on today.  Super satisfied all day.  Little low on fats but I snagged a glorious looking avocado today that's going in my belly tomorrow.

Night night time.